It was a lot to swallow — the idea of Lennon liking Jude just as he was, with all of his shame, fear, lies, everything he kept buried so deep inside him he never believed anyone would ever be able to drag the real Jude to the surface again? It was terrifying and exhilarating all the same. “Hey,” Tipping Lennon’s chin up with his pointer finger, Jude smiled nervously, keeping his voice firm, his tone certain. “I mean it. I love you. Is.. that okay?” Sheepishly he tore his gaze away in anticipation of Lennon’s reaction. As Lennon moaned low in his ear, Jude struggled to catch his breath, feeling like everything had suddenly turned to slow motion and he needed more, he needed it all now — impatient and selfish and eager and simply wanting all of Lennon, everything he had to offer. A lopsided grin broke through his concentration, so conscious in how he moved, silently hoping he was doing okay, living up to Lennon’s expectations, God only knew Jude had no experience in this whatsoever. “N-no..” He shook his head, resting his hand atop of Lennon’s as it lay against Jude’s hip. “S’okay.. I like it.” Lennon was holding back, that much was obvious, but Jude knew now that he could handle it, and God, did he want it. “I thought I —” His words broke off into an involuntary moan as Lennon pushed further, eyes falling shut as he tried desperately to remember what he wanted to say. “.. Thought I told’ya not to go easy on me.. hm?” Jude finally choked the words out in between soft sighs and silent gasps, running his hands along the contours of Lennon’s back, softly at first, grip tightening the faster he and Lennon moved in unison. “I’m sure.” With a small smile, reassuring and maybe a little shy, Jude reached up the slightest bit to brush a soft kiss to Lennon’s nose. As Lennon’s pace quickened, Jude raced to keep up, feeling dazed, completely struck by how amazing it all felt, how different it was with Lennon — God, how could he have ever done this with anyone else? Years spent running from the truth, ignoring his sexuality, hiding who he was — and all the while this is what he was missing out on. Not just this, not sex… but Lennon. He was missing out on Lennon. Brows knotted together, Jude frowned playfully, nipping down on Lennon’s bottom lip as he teased Jude, moving in an agonizingly slow pace. “You’re lucky I just so happen to be pretty fuckin’ pathetically in love with you, Foley..” He teased, voice breathless and raspy and impatient as he dug his nails into Lennon’s back and pulled him close, his tone a little rough, a little taunting. “Harder,” He growled, breath hot on Lennon’s cheek as he spoke, biting back a wide smirk.
A nervous smile flit across Lennon’s face as Jude tipped up his chin, small and bemused. He blinked – almost unable to process what Jude was saying because of how calmly he spoke as he said it. “Is that okay?” Lennon repeated with a voice that was practically bursting at the seams with barely contained laughter. Bashfully he smacked his hand to his face, hiding his eyes so that only his bright grin and flushed cheeks were visible. Shyly he peeked out between two of his fingers, sighing as his gaze settled on Jude before him. “‘Course that’s okay…” As he pulled his hands away and really took in the sight of his best friend, breathless and blushing, Lennon could have sworn his heart swelled ten sizes in that moment alone. It so much so that he simply couldn’t contain all that he felt within him lest he explode. With an eagerness unparalleled he drew Jude back to face him as a bright look filled his eyes. “I love you, I love you—“ He repeated almost feverishly, his hands restless as they cupped his face, slipping from Jude’s jaw to his cheeks to his hair. “God, y’got no idea how much…” Having run out of words, Lennon did the only thing he knew how to — he kissed him and kissed him with everything he had. There were so many Sunday mornings Lennon spent feeling wrong in a stiff church pew, wedged between Matthew and Lorelei after a sleepover. He wasn’t from a church going family, this was a strange uncomfortable world for him, one of long prayers he didn’t understand and buttoned down oxfords he didn’t own. Those Sundays were enough to make him believe in something more though, something bigger – not in sermon or sacrament but song. Jude, to be more specific, Jude. He sang in the choir, in a corner of his life Lennon could only catch peripheral glimpses of as an outsider despite being his best friend. There was no sound more beautiful in the world than his singing, Lennon was certain of that – or at least he had been, until now. Nothing could top the way Jude moaned his name against his skin, the edges of his voice softened, the sticky heat of his breath, the rise and fall of his quiet sighs, there was no prettier sound, nothing even came close. “Jude…” Lennon dragged his mouth along the sharp line of his jaw, shivers slipping down his spine from the rough feeling of his stubble against his skin. “Y-y’sure?” Despite his apprehension Jude’s insistence and eagerness brought a laugh to his lips, causing him to roll his eyes. Lennon’s movements grew slowed and gentle as he studied Jude’s face carefully. He was scared of pushing too far and hurting him but he had to trust him too. He did trust him. Shaking his head with a fond grin, he finally gave in. “Well… alright.” He trailed off with a playful lilt, cutting himself off as he stole a deep kiss. Something shifted in the air between them, it became charged, electric. At first Lennon continued to tease him, slowly trailing his hand down the length of Jude’s body. He took time and care, feeling over each dip and curve he came across. It wasn’t enough and it would never be — he wanted time to memorize him, to know Jude so well that he would recognize him by touch alone, but that was not his goal. Not right now. All he wanted was to make him squirm, to tease him till he could take it no longer. Urged on by impatient murmurs and the push of Jude’s hips, Lennon grasped his hand and laced their fingers together tightly. A low, breathless laugh escaped against Jude’s mouth as he pinned his hand back above his head, falling into a steady build as he began to move with him once more. This time there were no trembling hands or trembling hips from holding back, only fingers grasping at the bedsheets and the sound of their breathless sighs falling into a singular rhythm in tandem. “You’re doin’ perfect, Babe…” He was still nervous that much was obvious. Jude’s emotions were almost a sixth sense to Lennon now – something that came naturally to him after years of friendship. These days he was never without two fingers pressed to that pulse, ever mindful of the effect he on him. With hands that radiated heat he took a firm hold of his hips and began to guide him through the motions, taking away the pressure to perform. “Jus’ like that.” Between the two of them Jude didn’t have to be anything but himself. Lennon couldn’t help but laugh as Jude kissed his nose. In playful return he brushed his nose against his before stealing a real kiss. He tangled his fingers in his mess of curls and drew him in, letting their foreheads bump together as his brows furrowed. The feel of Jude’s nails pressed into his skin sent a heavy shiver down his spine and set him alight in a way he knew not possible. A fond smirk flit across his face for just a moment, simultaneously amused and enamored with Jude’s ability to go from bashful to commanding within moments. “H— harder?” Lennon turned his face and hid in the crook of Jude’s neck, pressing an haphazard open mouthed kiss to the hinge of his jaw. Almost possessively he clutched him closer. “Tell me if M’hur—“ Lennon’s breath caught mid sentence, bringing him to a pause as he bit down on his lower lip to withhold a moan. Against all better judgement he gave into himself and into Jude, moving in firm purposeful motions. “—hurtin’ you, okay?”